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‘Connect’ Assessment and Referral Service

Individual therapy with Ruth Calland
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Dependency
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British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy

Dependency

Some people don’t think therapy is for them because they think that they should be able to sort things out by themselves. That's a perfectly valid choice, but sometimes the reason for feeling this is a fear that seeing a therapist could make things go the other way – from being independent we might become over-dependent, even child-like. It's true that there is an element of dependency involved – but this is a voluntary dependency, that you choose to go into. It is one that you will also come out of, when the therapy winds down. Therapy aims to help you become more enabled to be the person you can be, not less. For a period of time however, the support of a therapist can help you explore things about yourself that it isn’t possible to explore when you are in a more equal relationship. Usually, we have to look after friends and relatives as much as (if not more than) we are looked after ourselves. In therapy that is not the case. It does mean that the therapist can become an important person to you, and its natural that you may feel vulnerable at times. This is why it’s important to check out any therapist at the very beginning, and make sure you feel safe and comfortable enough with them.